So much has been going on in my life these past months. I am grateful to God that I haven’t lost it, although many times, I have felt like I would. It is only by God’s grace and mercy that I am doing as well as I am. During this time, I have greatly struggled with consistency. I always feel so… helpless. Many times I feel badly repenting nightly for the same sin of idolatry, basically admitting that I am not spending time in prayer or in the Word of my Heavenly Father because I have obviously (and sinfully) found something else more important. Yet, He hasn’t taken me out yet. Every morning, I wake up amazed that I am alive to see another day that I do not deserve. Psalm 145:8 shows itself to be true in my life everyday:
The Lord is gracious and merciful,
slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.
He definitely is.
In light of my struggle with consistency and loving the Lord my God as I should, I read an interview with John Piper on Sovereign Grace’s blog, and in it, Piper said something that stirred and motivated me:
A great tree will fall with many small chops. Pray for daily grace to keep chopping.
I pray that the Holy Spirit will encourage my heart to do so – to keep chopping, and be patient with myself as the Lord is patient with me.