For the 2nd time today, I experienced unwanted attention. And for the 2nd time today, I had no idea how to really deal with it. I never want to come off as an ungracious, coldhearted woman, but neither do I want to seem as if I am okay with the advances… Oh, happy medium, wherefore art thou?
I had to park in a lot this morning because parking at my job was full. I paid my parking fee to the attendant by card and signed my receipt. As I gave it back to him, he looked at my signature and said, “What does this say?” and I responded by giving him my full name. He then said, “It says, ‘Today I marry you'”… I wanted to say something else (flesh versus Spirit) but I just said, “No, it doesn’t say that at all” and went to park my car.
I went down the street on my lunch break to pick up food from a local Italian restaurant.
Me – Can I get a chicken cheesesteak?
Him – Onions?
Me – Yes
Him – Salt, pepper, ketchup, mayonnaise?
Me – Salt, pepper, ketchup – Yes. Mayonnaise – Ew no.
Him – Anything else?
Me – Do you have provolone?
Him – *winks and smiles* Yes, for you.
Me – *straight face* Okay, let me get that.
Him – Anything to drink? Soda, beer?
Me – I don’t drink.
Him – *sly smile* Not yet.
Me – *straight face with raised eyebrow* No, never. That’s all I’m getting.
So after all the winks and smiles and flirtation was done by him (sigh), I waited for my cheesesteak to be done. As I waited, 2 nurses from a nearby hospital walked in. “6 days!” he says to them. “6 days?” responds one. “Yes! 6 days til she pops! And I’m going to be right there! I want to see everything!”… I put 2 and 2 together and came to the conclusion that his girlfriend (or wife) was expecting a child, which disgusted me even further that he would come at me the way he did.
This all makes me think back to when I was working for Best Buy on the Geek Squad. I was the only female technician working with a bunch of dudes. A speck of estrogen in a sea of testosterone. The married men I worked with, who went to church, who would say that they were Christians, would flirt with me all the time, and of course, I always checked them and let them know that Jenn was not interested and that they were married, and to that, I’d get the response, “But I’m not dead!” So sad… and so scary. Add that to past experiences in courtships where lies and unfaithfulness have been prevalent and you have a nervous Jenn, yet a Jenn who looks forward to being in a courtship that is done fully to glorify the Lord, one where the brother seeks to protect my heart 100%.
I haven’t dated since March of ’06 and by God’s grace, it’s given me time to mature and think over the things that are extremely important, time to grow as a woman, time to prioritize… so whenever I do get approached by a brother whose desire is to pursue my heart in hopes of marriage, I’ll be able to be better prepared mentally and spiritually and emotionally and be of more benefit to him, and actually be able to fulfill the role as a helpmeet.