Unwelcome Attention + Unfaithfulness

For the 2nd time today, I experienced unwanted attention. And for the 2nd time today, I had no idea how to really deal with it. I never want to come off as an ungracious, coldhearted woman, but neither do I want to seem as if I am okay with the advances… Oh, happy medium, wherefore art thou?

Situation #1
I had to park in a lot this morning because parking at my job was full. I paid my parking fee to the attendant by card and signed my receipt. As I gave it back to him, he looked at my signature and said, “What does this say?” and I responded by giving him my full name. He then said, “It says, ‘Today I marry you'”… I wanted to say something else (flesh versus Spirit) but I just said, “No, it doesn’t say that at all” and went to park my car.

Situation #2
I went down the street on my lunch break to pick up food from a local Italian restaurant.
Me – Can I get a chicken cheesesteak?
Him – Onions?
Me – Yes
Him – Salt, pepper, ketchup, mayonnaise?
Me – Salt, pepper, ketchup – Yes. Mayonnaise – Ew no.
Him – Anything else?
Me – Do you have provolone?
Him – *winks and smiles* Yes, for you.
Me – *straight face* Okay, let me get that.
Him – Anything to drink? Soda, beer?
Me – I don’t drink.
Him – *sly smile* Not yet.
Me – *straight face with raised eyebrow* No, never. That’s all I’m getting.

So after all the winks and smiles and flirtation was done by him (sigh), I waited for my cheesesteak to be done. As I waited, 2 nurses from a nearby hospital walked in. “6 days!” he says to them. “6 days?” responds one. “Yes! 6 days til she pops! And I’m going to be right there! I want to see everything!”… I put 2 and 2 together and came to the conclusion that his girlfriend (or wife) was expecting a child, which disgusted me even further that he would come at me the way he did.

This all makes me think back to when I was working for Best Buy on the Geek Squad. I was the only female technician working with a bunch of dudes. A speck of estrogen in a sea of testosterone. The married men I worked with, who went to church, who would say that they were Christians, would flirt with me all the time, and of course, I always checked them and let them know that Jenn was not interested and that they were married, and to that, I’d get the response, “But I’m not dead!” So sad… and so scary. Add that to past experiences in courtships where lies and unfaithfulness have been prevalent and you have a nervous Jenn, yet a Jenn who looks forward to being in a courtship that is done fully to glorify the Lord, one where the brother seeks to protect my heart 100%.

I haven’t dated since March of ’06 and by God’s grace, it’s given me time to mature and think over the things that are extremely important, time to grow as a woman, time to prioritize… so whenever I do get approached by a brother whose desire is to pursue my heart in hopes of marriage, I’ll be able to be better prepared mentally and spiritually and emotionally and be of more benefit to him, and actually be able to fulfill the role as a helpmeet.

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6 thoughts on “Unwelcome Attention + Unfaithfulness

  1. Anna says:

    I would love to hear more of your words of wisdom on this topic!

  2. Carlos says:

    I really admire your steadfastness and patience. Being single is a gift but can be a test of your will at times. I pray that God will lead you to a brother fully committed to him first and foremost. Keep the faith!

  3. Jessica says:

    I have been brushing off unwelcome advances as well. I experienced this the most this year 2008. Two men with girlfriends tried to talk to me, a married man with 4 kids going through a divorce tried to get at me… One night, I went out with 2 of my girlfriends and had a lot a guys approach me in awkward ways and I just brushed them off. I didn’t exchange phone numbers with them or anything. There was one experience where I did fall for a charming attractive single guy earlier this year in February who wanted a relationship and all this stuff, and it did not go so well in the end. I never in my life fell for a guy before until that time, I think it was because I was vulnerable at that time, but now I know to never do that again. So I’m glad that I am able to reject unwelcome attention and superficial advances from men who are out to deceive and play games. God bless you sister!

  4. Like the country song says, “Sometimes it’s hard being a woman.”

    Of course, I bet it’s particularly hard with degenerate males in plentiful quantities. Sometimes, it’s hard being associated with the male gender, the vast majority of which seem hardly worthy of being shot or pushed off a cliff.

    Way to stand firm for righteousness, as I anticipate not all young ladies do.

    Still, even for a non-sloogey guy, I’m sure it’s tough. He doesn’t want to approach a young lady unless he thinks she might be interested and yet she doesn’t want to give off any impression that she interested too early, lest she be perceived as one of those types.

    So, the good guys tend to not approach the good girls.

    But the bad guys approach anything that moves and the bad girls mockingly and seemingly get all the guys as the good girls think, “Something’s jacked up with this system.”

    Married almost 15 years, I can hardly remember the beating all of that was/is.

  5. jenelle says:

    LOL @ “I was the only female technician working with a bunch of dudes. A speck of estrogen in a sea of testosterone.” very encouraging post…very mature observations and approaches…praying for you and your future courtship!

  6. Simply Seth says:

    and of course, I always checked them and let them know that Jenn was not interested and that they were married, and to that, I’d get the response, “But I’m not dead!”

    —–

    …yes and you should be dead to your flesh for the carnal man is enmity with God .. so repent and put your trust in Jesus
    *insert cheesy grin here*

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