That is someone’s spouse.

Every now and then I find myself thinking about past interactions with the opposite sex. I call them interactions because honestly, I really wouldn’t classify them as relationships. There was no love, and what was thought to be love, was a false feeling based on lust driven times. You spend so much time with this person and there’s so much physical intimacy that the love for the act of fornication becomes a confusing display of love. Counterfeit. I cannot count the number of times that I have told a man that I loved him, whether the relationship was physical or not. Looking back now ? I’ve never been in love. I’ve never experienced a pure love that comes from a Godly relationship. I highly regret ever becoming involved in the ways that I did in the past… Whether you’re having sex or ‘making out’, if that person is not your husband or your wife, you have no right to touch them. I can’t say how horrible I feel when I look back on past relationships with men who are now married. I feel dirty. Even though I have repented and no longer partake in that kind of activity (praise Jesus), there are times when I just shake my head at myself.

Whether it’s the act of sex or ‘just a kiss’ (What IS ‘just a kiss’?) , that person is not yours. You and that person are not bound to each other. He is not your husband. She is not your wife. Just think — If you were married, it would probably tear you up to imagine your spouse with someone else. It is that way now. That person you’re sinning with, that person you’re hugged up with… the person you’ve never even considered spending the rest of your life with… Chances are, they WILL be married someday and chances are, that person may not be you.

So many people wonder why I don’t date, why I don’t ‘go out for fun’. Unless a man approaches me with intentions to court me, AFTER seeking the Lord on it, that’s when I’d go out. Before that ? No. Why should I ? If you can’t see yourself walking down the altar with this person, don’t even walk in the park. To some, that may sound too serious. Why engage the heart of someone that you aren’t willing to or wanting to make a commitment to ?

For those who are single who desire marriage, treat your brothers like brothers and your sisters like sisters until the day they are bound to you by the act of marriage. Why so long ? Well, even after you get engaged, there is a chance that one may change their mind or something else could happen. That’s not something we like to consider, but there is the possibility. You never know what may happen. Once you’re married, you will have the rest of your lives to express your love for one another. If you can’t wait, then refocus. Your first relationship should be with Jesus Christ, then the rest falls into place.

I praise God and I LOVE to see Godly marriages and engagements! It’s so beautiful, knowing that their love for each other was not based on the physical or emotional, but on CHRIST Himself. That’s just super. I went to a wedding about a year ago where there was a gospel presentation during the ceremony. It’s amazing how Christ has communicated His Truths to so many generations, to so many different types of people, multiple races… and we all have a common mindset. YEA!

Sorry, got off topic a bit. But to my married brothers and sisters: Men, be faithful to your wives. Women, be faithful to your husbands. But most importantly — Be faithful to CHRIST.

To those who struggle with physical aspects of relationships outside of the covenant of marriage, whether it be fornication or something else, check the following:
The Mortification of Sin
Feeding the Flesh

Lets glorify HIM!


4 thoughts on “That is someone’s spouse.

  1. Rick says:

    Sage words. I’m in a second marriage that’s not doing well, and a lot of problems could have been avoided by doing what’s biblical FIRST.

  2. thankfull says:

    amen! I have a similar background to you as I have regretted the wasted time with men, in the past, that had no desire to be a husband and didn’t have a commitment in mind.

    I agree with you when you say that the man has to hear from God when he approaches as well as treating brothers like brothers and sisters like sisters.

    It can be a tough thing sometimes, but If the Lord wills, He will provide a husband for us and it’ll be His time and His blessing.

  3. Praise GOD for this blog. I don’t comment much. But I am firm believer in that Christian’s don’t date to just date. Christian’s court with the intentions of marriage. If not then that man or women needs to get out of your face. It’s kind of off the subject (a little bit). But I have a big issue with Christians living together with their “mate” and christian’s okay with having sex before marriage. I’m not perfect and I did a lot at one time. But I always knew it was wrong but I just wanted to do my own thing. But it just seems like these days many people put GOD only in an certain area in their life. They don’t want in their way. I’ve noticed a lot of people who say they are christians who are fine with having sex before marriage. Isn’t that strange?

  4. Charaya says:

    Praise God, Jenn. Been there, done that. I feel as though I could have written this blog, ’cause you stole my words, Girl! But I bless God for giving me the opportunity to know what true love is…

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