Late Night Thoughts

It’s 3am-ish and I’m tired. My body is aching. I feel rundown. Yet, I’m still sitting here at my desk. I’m waiting for my Theraflu to kick in so I can curl up in bed with Stott’s “The Cross of Christ” (Thank you, Otis).

I had to put my male betta in his own little space today. He’s been abusing his woman. Over the past few days, I have noticed more and more pieces of Bella’s fins missing. My beautiful girl betta is becoming ragged. Hannibal is on punishment for now. I may just go ahead and keep him in there period. He doesn’t know how to act these days. Just before I put him in the partition, I was an eyewitness to his aggression towards her.

Bella

I have no life. I mean, who takes pictures of FISH ? πŸ˜•

My left shoulder blade has been twitching ALL DAY. Man, I feel like I am falling apart. Praise God that I set up an appointment earlier this week to visit the doctor on Monday. I’m getting a full physical… EVERYTHING is getting checked. It’s been so long since I have had one. I have to admit – I am a little nervous. I abhor taking tests and having to wait DAYS for the results. If it is something serious, I trust that God is sovereign and it is a part of His Will for Jenn’s life.

I think I am going to apply to Calvary next week. I got a call earlier this week to inform me that my student loan is about to be out of default and I am eligible to receive money again (yay!) so that is a definite blessing. I’ve been in a loan rehabilitation program paying $50 a month. All of my payments have been on time so it will be taken off of my credit report and I can go back to school. I am so elated to hear that. So, I may end up being a resident of Missouri within the next few months. We shall see. I had looked into attending Philadelphia Biblical, even had a campus visit there where I did fill out the application, but something just wasn’t ‘spot on’ for me. Not saying that there is anything wrong with the school; maybe it just wasn’t right for ME.

Yesterday, Kerry linked me to something that had me giddier than… well… I have no clever analogy, but I was indeed GIDDY. Reformed Theological Seminary, one of the seminaries I’d like to attend, has free courses, chapel services, and seminars for download through ITunes. I went in and downloaded everything except the brochures.

I am so tired of hearing about Britney Spears and Anna Nicole. Anna’s life was a media circus during her life and now, it’s turned into a posthumous media extravaganza. And Britney is breaking down in front of the eyes of the world and they just keep pushing her, discussing her, harassing her. I’m tired of the news on them. The media is disgusting. Like Dr. Mohler, I, too, may fast from the television until it’s all over. At any rate, it seems that everything else on television these days is profane, perverse, or softcore porn. I can turn on the television and hear everything except the ‘f word’ and for that, it’s probably only a matter of time. And sex ? It used to be about innuendos, but now ? Flat out directness. Semi nudity, implied sexual acts, it’s all there. Just a week or so ago, I was watching a crime / law show on a Friday evening and they showed two women kissing. Why even have cable? Late night television is inundated with commercials instructing people to call this 900 # for 3.99 for ‘hot, wild, no strings tied conversation’. It is only a matter of time before any and everything is allowed at any time on television. Other than ’48 Hours’, ‘Close to Home’, and occasional episodes of ‘The Cosby Show’, I don’t watch much TV at all. The way things are going, I probably won’t be watching it period.

Reading this site reignites my passion to adopt. Lord, I pray the man that prayerfully decides to court me, and have me as his wife, is a man shares my heart for adoption. I really do.

Going to go and lay in my bed with my John R.W. Stott. Grace and Peace.

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5 thoughts on “Late Night Thoughts

  1. Rachel says:

    Jenn. Is that the only male fish in that tank? If so, it may be so aggresive towards the famales because there is no other male around to spar with. Numerous studies have shown that if certain male species of fish have no other males of their particular species to fight with, only then will he turn to males outside of his particular species. And if THOSE males (outside of that species) are removed; then the fish in question will eventually direct his aggression towards the females in the tank.

    But if you DO have more than one male- then maybe he’s just plain ol’ MEAN.

    In other worlds; I made a decision that I would love to adopt when I was a young teen, in addition to having my own. I want like, 10 kids (or more), both natural and adopted. And after seeing and reading about Josephine Baker around the same time, and her “Rainbow Tribe” (of adopted children)- that just set my desire even more. Yeah.

    And YAAAYYY! @ the physical. ‘Bout time. πŸ™‚ Keep me posted.

  2. Jenn says:

    You are neeeever supposed to put 2 male bettas in the same space. They will fight til the death. They are called ‘Siamese fighting fish’. They, by nature, cannot live in the same space. So, putting another male in there is waaaay out of the question, lol. But there is another male fish, but he’s much smaller. He’s pretty though πŸ˜€ He just chooses to mess w/her. He’s just mean. That’s all, lol. He is VERY pretty though, but mean.

    Yea, I want to adopt children of all races and backgrounds… and I want my own as well. I want to raise them to view each other as if they were all born from the same mother and father. I can’t wait til I can make that happen, Lord willing.

    I will def keep you posted about the physical. My greatest fear is that something is wrong to the point where I’d have to have surgery. Surgery really makes me shake in my boots… but either way, whatever it is, you will be one of the 1st to know, sis. πŸ˜€

    Miiiichelle, my belle πŸ˜€

  3. Rachel says:

    *CHEESING HARD* :-))

  4. Jenn says:

    Rachel, why are you so odd ? Again, I ask — Ever had your head examined ??? πŸ˜•

    😯

  5. Hey Jenn,
    I saw you on the PB and I wanted to say welcome to that. Nice blog!

    Grace and Peace,
    Andrew

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