Desperate

Without going into TOO much detail… I have been going through some intense, just crazy spiritual warfare lately. I’m talking about the kind that makes you wake up, sit straight up in your bed, and pray HARD til it subsides… the kind that makes you lose sleep and keeps your mind messed up for days.

I hate this and I hate myself for being susceptible to it. I don’t know how some people are so strong and so able to withstand these attacks so well. It’s killing me. I’m so bothered, so mad, so… irritated and frustrated about this whole thing.

Please intercede on my behalf. I so need the prayers of the saints.

Last night, I was drifting off to sleep and heard something (wasn’t audible) that literally scared me fully awake. I was no longer sleepy. I opened my Bible and pleaded and prayed and was afraid to go back to sleep. I was scared to close my eyes. I don’t know what’s been up with me lately, but this has NEVER happened.

I really need prayer and I want myself back.

Am I going crazy ? Sometimes I feel like I am… Am I the only one who’s gone through this ? Anybody able to shed some light ?

I look forward to the moment when I can look back and see how the Lord has brought me through this, but for now ? It seems no end is in sight.

😦

Advertisements

6 thoughts on “Desperate

  1. Rachel says:

    WOW, Jenn, I feel you, and I got you. Yes, things of that sort have happened to me day in and day out numerous times, since I was 18…hasn’t happened in well over a year now, though. With mine, though, I would FEEL things, though not tangibly…more like a prescence(s). I would feel things surrounding me, and waiting for the dark, for me to go to sleep…yeah. So for a couple of years, I would sleep during the day, after the sun started rising- and stay awake ALLLL night, for fear of the dark.

    At the same time, though, what you experienced- the sound(s) you heard- may simply be a fine example of you 1.) drifting off to sleep 2.) Starting to enter the dream world- so your then at a crossroads of sorts between waking and sleeping 3.) hearing a sound(s) in the first dream that you were drifting off into…yet you were still awake enough for it to seem like reality.

    Thus, that would explain why the sound(s) was not audible. Your mind MAY have simply been hanging in between the waking world, and the dream world. Although most people never realize it, there is usually a very smooth transition when going from waking to sleeping, and that transition can involve “auditory hallucination.” The symptoms that may occur while falling asleep can involve sounds, visual oddities, tactile (touch) oddities, etc. I call them “oddities”, although they are normal.

    These things can also occur while you’re waking up…I’m sure you’ve had some odd experiences with this one. 🙂 When these occur when falling asleep, it’s called “HYPNAGOGIA”. When they occur while waking up- it’s called “HYPNOPOMPIA”. Here a link to a good explanation on it: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypnagogic_hallucination

    Jenn, this transition may not have been going smoothly for you if you haven’t been getting adequete amount of sleep. And not just sleep that FEELS like it’s enought to you- but the right amount needed for your mind to function at it’s optimum best. I pray that’s that’s the case. I’ll be praying for you.

    Oh, and get some vitaman B12 from the health food store, your brain may be deficient of it. It’s one of the most important things you can feed your brain. Deficiency of this precious vitaman has been linked to many cases of poor memory, hallucinations, confusion, vision problems, problems with the nervous system…it’s even been strongly linked to numerous cases of MS, among other serious health threats. It’s been documeted that when some patients are experiencing these symptoms, putting them on a regular dose of B12 gave many of them improvement within a week or less. Get some B12 in ya’ ststem, chile! (The gel capsules) ;->

    Love ya,
    Rachel

  2. desertwoman says:

    I too have and still go through what you are experiencing my friend. I remember going to sleep and demons will be there to grab me, and send me to hell. I remember trying to cry out to Jesus, and my lips were sealed shut.

    I’m here to intercede for you, and so are the others. This is why we are a family, and we are not in it alone. Much luv!

    Rebecca

  3. Hey Jenn;
    Two quickies: In both this and a few more of your posts here, I can hear you loud and clear. Mainly because I have been there and here and a few dozen other places. I am always available to talk to, or to just pray for ya.

    Last thing:
    Take the peace of God with you to sleep tonite. Not peace as in nothing is going on, but that peace that says that everything is going on but God is here and my trust is in Him alone. There is a verse that speaks on this wise: he gives his beloved sweet rest. No, I don’t know all that you have been thru, nor do I really need to. What I do know is that God does love you as a beloved daughter of His. And in being His, you can rest in Him.

    I shall continue to keep you in my prayers, do try to rest.

  4. Asia says:

    Hey sis

    I know how you feel too. Lately I have been feeling some things that scared me and make me cry. I got you too sis. Keep your head up. God Bless you sis. Trust God

  5. faith215 says:

    A sis at my church shared a story of being attacked demonically a few months back, and it was linked to her being afraid of the dark, so initially she was afraid of the attack then she was like she got an attitude because she realized the enemy was trying to get at her with illusions, using for example a magician who uses trickery to carry out his act but when u really know his act nothing really to be impressed by, and the fact that it’s an illusion can’t really do anything to harm.

    So basically when she came to realize what was going on, she had a attitude, forget the exact words she spoke but of course Jesus was in the mist of them, and she said she turned over went to sleep and never used a night light again, oh yeah forgot I told that story partially, she use to sleep with a night light and that night there were issues with her light so she was noit about that and he got @ her weak spot.

    Last night I went to a fellowship where a sis gave her testimony of being saved at 7 years old, while being raised in a crack house. And she said her mother would leave for weeks at a time sometimes, leaving her in the house alone and while she was alone she’d see things going on in the house that should not until she called out the name of Jesus.

    I also experienced some things as a child and it was the same thing, wasn’t raised in a crack house but had some fam on drugs, not sure if that had any link to my attacks but they’d only occur when I was alone, only thing that I’ve come close to in adulthood is last week I was waiting for my daughter to come home after getting a call from the person she was with to say they were on their way. I heard my daughter’s voice call out mom. So I go running down to answer the door, figuring she was calling me because she forgot her key. I opened the door and she hadn’t even gotten home yet and no one was there!!!! At first I thought maybe I thought it, but only time stuff like that happens is as sis above said going into a dream but half awake, and jumping up to realize oh man u were just dreaming. With this I was fully awake waiting for my child so I said to myself I will not be shook I”m being attacked because I was worried, this was the 1st time I’d sent my daughter off with this particular person and althought I found them trustworthy I was still kinda anxious for her to get home, linked to my childhood not the individual she was with.

    So bottom line is I believe I was being attacked in a weakness as a child I was attacked because there was no defense in place for me ie weakness, same with the female raised in the crack house and the sis @ my church also attacked in a weak area. So what I say to u is, and it may or may not be your case, peep any weak areas in your life that he may be trying to get at u in, are u worrying about stuff in your past or could there be links to things still in your home anything get rid of the physical get at the mental if that’s a factor.

    Lastly it may be none of what I stated and all to do with how hard u are riding for Christ, I’ve definately been thru some of those now that I think on it, usually carried out via people more than issues at night. But whatever it may be if it happens again continue to do what you did, call on the Lord and begin to quote scritpures, begin to praise God even in the mist of it, minus the fear part getting at that while calling on the name of the Lord, remembering that he cannot harm u he can only try to scare u into thinking he can and anything he can do is only because God didn’t prevent it from happening so put all focus on him.

    I will be praying for u, sorry so long.

  6. Ndidi says:

    Wow, I’ve been through that before. I only told Rina and Rodney and I was so scared to go back in my room. It was some days before Christmas and I was taking a nap. No one was in the house, but I was hearing a xylophone play “Pop Goes the Weasel”. So I sit up in bed, and my neck feels like Jello. I look up and there’s this big black wall in front of me. I started screaming Jesus’ name, but nothing came out of my mouth. At the same time, I’m floating back onto my bed, like something didn’t want me to get up. Panicking, I was praying in my mind and I fell asleep for a few minutes. I forced myself awake and rolled out of bed, put on the lights and fell on my knees. I was so scared to fall asleep on my own bed I called up Rina and Rodney to tell them. I haven’t told my mom, before she thinks I’m possessed, but I have no clue why there would be demonic activity in my room. Just thinking about it makes me shudder.

    I will be praying. I don’t want to sound pre-trib, but it is the last days. Thank God we believers came out untouched. I remember telling Rina, “They couldn’t kill me. I don’t know what they were there for. Jesus saved me.”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: