Sex is defeating so many of the brethren (and sistren). Almost daily, there’s a news report about a prominent pastor who has fallen prey to sexual temptation. Many Christians deal with porn addictions. Many Christians ‘slip up’ with their significant other, having babies out of wedlock. Many Christians get into relationships that are hard to get out of due to physical (sexual) committments. Many Christians struggle with masturbation and lust. Why is this ? Why does it seem that the biggest thing taking down myriads of Christians daily is sex or sex related?
I know married men who have beautiful wives who have porn addictions. I know women who struggle with loneliness who turn to self pleasure or sleeping with multiple men. I know Christians who are ministering daily, on the front lines for Christ, who struggle with a dark secret. You’d never know it.
But why ? Why is this such a ‘killer’ ?
I think a huge part of it is that we don’t have a right view of God. We don’t value Him enough. We don’t trust Him enough. We go out and minister to others telling them that Christ is the cure for our pain; He is THE Salve, yet we don’t act on it ourselves. Hypocrites we are, cleaving unto the flesh daily.
I can speak from experience. Although this is something I am definitely not proud of, I can be transparent. I can be honest. Back in 2004, I was serious with the Lord, still considering myself a semi babe. God called me to His flock in 2001 and I submitted in 2002. 2 years later, I met a guy. Due to a loneliness in my life that I didn’t acknowledge with the presence of God, I fell prey to the temptations of the flesh. It wasn’t a one time thing. That relationship went on for over a year. It was hard to get out of because the sexual activity was like a drug. I was lacking something, but didn’t know how to take care of it, so I thought sex would fix it. And it did – for that very moment. Like an addict, I had to keep getting a fix to satisfy these urges, these needs… this loneliness that was crying out for the Son of Man, not just some man. Although I have repented and resubmitted my body to Christ, I still get angry. What made it so easy for me to get caught up in the temporal ? There would be times afterwards where I’d be crying because I KNEW that I was doing the Father dirty… but I couldn’t stop. I knew that Void Filler was Him, but I saw myself as far too gone to come back to Him, Prodigal Daughter that I was. I am grateful for His Mercy and Grace in the situation, but now that I am out of it, and have been for some time, I realize the problem. Hopefully, my being candid will help someone else realize THEIR problem and encourage them to leave the sinfulness behind and truly seek after the Seeker.
As I stated earlier, I fell prey to the physical because I didn’t know how to acknowledge God in all of my shortcomings, all of my lack. I was reading the Scriptures daily, praying for hours daily, but I hadn’t given Him ALL of me. I was lonely. I desired companionship. I’d come from a pre Salvation lifestyle where, like a bee searching for pollen, I’d gone from male to male to male… I was used to having someone around. Because I didn’t really take the time to get to know CHRIST, I didn’t know how to allow Him to ‘keep me company’. This is why it was so easy to lose focus. I did not have the right view of Him. I didn’t know everything that He was and is to me. I didn’t know how to give Him me.
That’s the first problem. The 2nd problem ? I think too many of us like to see how close we can get to the fire without getting burnt. What I mean by this is – We like to cuddle, kiss, do everything BUT penetration, and we think it’s okay because hey, we didn’t actually have SEX! When the Word of God directs us to flee youthful lusts (2 Timothy 2:2), we instead seem to be attracted to them like a moth to a flame. Where the Scriptures say to abstain from EVERY form of evil (1 Thessalonians 5:22), we like to play with it. The root of this behavior is… How much do we love our Father ? How much do we love and respect our Savior ? If we truly loved Him and respected Him and were truly grateful of what He’s done, we’d be obedient. We’d be faithful. We wouldn’t play with sin because the Word of God advises us to avoid it, abstain from it, and to control our bodies (1 Thessalonians 4:3-8). This is what we must do.
And we must stop blaming the devil for our sinful natures. The old adage “The devil made me do it” must die. We must take responsibility and set our minds on the Spirit. When we set our minds on flesh, when we set our minds on self, that is death. When we are in the flesh, we cannot please God (Romans 8:8) so to think that we can carry on that sinful lifestyle while attempting to serve and worship this Awesome and Holy God is an abomination. We are no better than those in Malachi who offered God whatever they felt like giving Him (Malachi 1:6-13). Just as they did, we give Him things that we wouldn’t even WANT to give a spouse – an unclean body, unclean thoughts, halfhearted obedience, and mindless words.
We must reverence Jesus as He is! The Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world (John 1:29)! The Sacrificial Lamb led to slaughter came to save us, to rescue us, to redeem us. His shed blood was the atonement for our sins. The ultimate price was paid when Christ died on that cross. When He had his hands and feet nailed to that cross, when He had that crown of thorns forced down on His head, when He was beaten and mocked and scorned, He did this to free the elect. Now, as the elect, why do we act as though we forget this ? Of course, many will say that they don’t, but when you knowingly and purposely fall prey to sin, what other reasons do you have ?
Remember the Cross, the Price, the Lamb, the Life, the ultimate Payment, the Love, the Devotion, the Sacrifice.
The next time you want to feed your flesh, the next time you want to rebel, consider the Cross on which Your Savior died for you.
What shall we say then? Are we to continue in sin that grace may abound? By no means! How can we who died to sin still live in it? Do you not know that all of us who have been baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? We were buried therefore with him by baptism into death, in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life. For if we have been united with him in a death like his, we shall certainly be united with him in a resurrection like his. We know that our old self was crucified with him in order that the body of sin might be brought to nothing, so that we would no longer be enslaved to sin. For one who has died has been set free from sin. Now if we have died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with him. We know that Christ being raised from the dead will never die again; death no longer has dominion over him. For the death he died he died to sin, once for all, but the life he lives he lives to God. So you also must consider yourselves dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus. Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal bodies, to make you obey their passions. Do not present your members to sin as instruments for unrighteousness, but present yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life, and your members to God as instruments for righteousness.
Romans 6:1-13 ESV
To be continued…